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Pantera: Reinventing the steel

20/01/10 || InquisitorGeneralis

Dateline: Bronx, New York sometime in the late fall 1999

A young man stumbles back to his dorm room, head spinning from bad weed and even worse beer. A recent college freshman, this lad from beautiful Baltimore, Maryland was balls deep in his freshman year in college and fully enjoying all of the excesses a bastion of sin like NYC has to offer. After a long night at the local dance club (which doubled as a carpet warehouse in the summer…seriously) this hammered homeboy is hoping that his techo-loving roommates are not home so that he can enjoy some peaceful classic rock in blessed peace.

You see, this young turk is a product of late 90s suburban America: he habitually wears flanel shirts, loves frat and grunge rock, and thinks that Van Halen and AC/DC are heavy metal. Bathory, Death. Grave…these bands are unknown to him. At this point, this inquisitive youth has a major hard on for Lynyrd Skynryd, Led Zeppelin, and Alice in Chains: his soul not yet corrupted by blast beats, doublebass, and cookie monster vocals.

Upon entering Alumni Court North, Room 134 he is happy to find no Paul Oakenfold or DJ Shadow blasting from the stereo; no ecstasy-filled Etards prancing around the already tiny room while twirling glowsticks and chanting “Zombie Nation”. Breathing a sigh of relief he grabs a Budweiser double deuce from the mini-fridge and clicks on the tube. You see, at this point you actually had a chance of seeing a video on MTV, and our young hero tunes in, turns off.

Two burly, tattooed figures are being interviewed, Vinnie Paul and Dimebag: names unfamiliar to our protagonist. After listening to them describe their
band Pantera’s newest (unfortunately last) album “Reinventing the Steel” they introduced a new video for “Revolution is my name”. Cue to tape, and a young life is forever changed…

Changed into shit! Now I am a drunk, drug-addicted loser with a bastard kid in another state, a stack of bills reaching K2 levels, and nothing but a bullshit gig writing (for jack fucken squat) reviews for some obscure metal website in Sweden that no one but a handful of metal-loving Internerds gives a shit about! but I can’t complain, because I like metal and that makes me cool… and “Reinventing the Steel” is the album that lubed up metal’s cock and allowed it to penetrate my unknowing, unwilling EARgina.

Fuck what other people say, and fuck nostalgia, this is a damn fine album. Not Pantera’s best, but certainly not worthy of the negative attention it sometimes receives. There are some lame ducks on here, I admit… but some ace winners too. “Revolution is my name” with its shit-kickin’ breakdown, solid drumming from Vinny, and heavier feel is still one of my favorite songs of any metal genre period. I rate it as one of Pantera’s best, even though it is not from the golden three first albums. “Goddamn electric” has a sludgier feel to it and a catchy chorus that gives whiskey drenched shout-outs to influences and contemporaries like Sabbath and SSSSSLLLLLLAAAAYYYYYEEEEERRRRRR .

“Yesterday don’t mean shit” and “I’ll cast a shadow” are also great tracks: both featuring Dime’s signature grinding guitars done to perfection and his bro Vinny gets extra heavy on the drums too. If only the entire album could follow these songs’ lead, we would be talking about a classic bookend to a great career. Hell, Pantera would have probably buried the heroin-influenced hatchet had that douchebag, cocksmoking, buttvillian fuckface not shot Dimebag. I know most of you people don’t believe in religion but I sincerely hope there is a hell where Lucifer repeatedly assrapes that piece of shit.

Alas, this scenario of eternal damnation or a Pantera reunion is not to be. “Reinventing the Steel” is a damn good album, but nondescript songs like “We’ll grind that axe a long time” and the bland opener “Hellbound” bring it down. Obviously the band’s beat up ’79 Ram Charger Truck was not running on all cylinder’s here and that is shame because the extra-heavy tracks really kick ass. One can only image what a motivated, well-adjusted Pantera would have been able to crank out. A whole album of songs at the level of “Revolution is my name” would cause constant and unending jeans jizzings for me and have a serious negative effect on my ability to work and live and normal life.

“Reinventing the Penis” will always be special to me because it is the album that introduced me to metal. Is it the best metal, or Pantera, album ever released? Certainly not. However, beyond my own personal metal enlightenment Pantera’s swansong has some excellent moments and certainly deserves a listen from any serious metal fan who appreciates the band and its impact on the genre. Pantera never sold out and only got heavier as they reached levels of popularity most metal bands could never even dream of. I will represent the Cowboys from Hell until I join them there. Revolution is my name.

7,5

Information
Released: 2000
Label: East West
Website: www.pantera.com
Band
Phil Anselmo: vocals
Dimebag Darrell: guitars
Rex Brown: bass
Vinnie Paul: drums

Tracklist
01. Hellbound
02. Goddamn Electric
03. Yesterday Don’t Mean Shit
04. You’ve Got to Belong to It
05. Revolution is My Name
06. Death Rattle
07. We’ll Grind That Axe For a Long Time
08. Uplift
09. It Makes Them Disappear
10. I’ll Cast a Shadow

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